Stream of Bad News Day Consciousness

By: Greg | June 28th, 2007

Okay, it’s day two of “Deuce Watch.” As in there’s DEUCE going on right now that’s newsworthy. Therefore, I figured I’d share some of the jewels I found today while wandering aimlessly through the wasteland that is the Portuguese sporting news interweb…

One headline on Portuguese sports rag A Bola’s website reads “Saturn and Sporting Have Reached an Agreement on Vukcevic.” As a result, you have to do lame and childish things like imagine that Saturn has a lot of pull (oooh yes, it’s such a bad news day that you get a pun involving gravity) in the football world and Sporting is big enough now as a result of finishing well last year to deal with a gargantuan body such as Saturn.

Gargantuan bodies like Saturn’s leads me to remember an awesome reference such as Perry Satullo. He was a wrestler for various different “Federations” while I was growing up. His body is big as well. At this point I’m figuring I should Google image search this guy and show you just how big his body is. But the Google image search has yielded an interesting result. Is it fate? Or do I spy with my little eye two extremely out of place Portuguese soccer references? First there’s a frigging picture of Benfica’s stadium and… What the hell!? Is that Cristiano Ronaldo I see on the first page of results?

Oh, I have to click on this to see where it goes. It leads me to a Middle-Eastern language forum with no picture of C. Ronaldo to be found, but a list of wrestlers, and scrolling down, wait is that Richard Izecson of Saints Milk in the rain? What the hell kind of vortex have I been sucked into? The user with the apparent Kaká fetish (tee hee), EMP88 happens to have a creepy picture of a really Pantened-up Tom Cruise staring at me, so before I get logged into some xenophobic CIA or National Security Agency record book as looking at words that are not from my country’s native tongue and become branded some sort of international interweb Joe McCarthy-esque target, I press on.

I decide that this black hole has exhausted its massive resources of weirdness and check out the other Portuguese rag’s site which I frequent, O Jogo. Ok, boring, boring, Rui Costa… Whoah! Who is this scantily clad vixen? Joana Balaguer?

I’ve now found my next Google image search vortex to fall into! After “researching” her further and spending some alone time learning more about her favorite things, I’ve come to realize one infallible truth: Bad transfer news days are great! I had time to reminisce about wrestlers of yore, be stared at by a creepy Tom Cruise avatar, and I even added a new young lady to my “recreational time” repertoire. So, I say ever so emphatically, bring on more transfer wire boredom, oh Gods of Portuguese Football! Bring it onnnnnnnn!!!!!