Some Amuse Bouches and… Fixture Facts 2.0!

By: Greg | August 17th, 2007

A quick aside before I do that damn thing: I just noticed, that in the fury to race out of my apartment (a new record 45 minutes late to work) this morning, I matched a black subtly pinstriped shirt with black, thicker pinstriped pants. A grave mistake.

It’s finally here! Jornada 1 begins today and I’m as happy as a pig in caca d’oie (thanks Sam).

Last season, I’d give you the weekend’s run down of matches along with facts about each team involved. This year, so I don’t have to keep looking back to see if I gave you a particular club’s coach one week and then I could use that the next, I’m going to simply state a theme each week and run with it. So, for example, if the theme a given week is stadiums, you’ll get the name of each home park with the associated club. This should prove rather interesting around Jornada 20 when I’m going to inevitably run out of standard issue items like kit colors and year founded. Before I get to the first edition of Fixture Facts 2.0, here are a few “amuse bouches” to whet your appetite:

**The “Next, Next Ronaldinho” — Sporting have beaten Brazilian side Corinthians to the signature of the latest guy to be compared to Ronaldinho, Celso Luiz Honorato Junior, better known as Celsinho. He will come to the Lions on a loan deal from the Muscovite Choo-Choo with a two million Euro buy-out option at the end of the year. He’s an attacking midfielder who also plays striker. Celsinho fits the mold of most signings this year in Portugal, but he’s a double bonus since not only is he Brazilian, but he ALSO comes from a Russian / Eastern European club. So by my math, that should make him twice as good as Izmailov. I’ve never seen the kid play, aside from the YouTube clip below. Rather than do my best Sven-Goran Eriksson impression and decide on him solely based on video, I’ll reserve judgment until I see him on the pitch for Sporting.

**Uniao de Diarrhea 0 – 0 Maccabi Netanyahu (UEFA Cup 2nd Round Qualifying) – Eh, come on. Do you really care about this right now? If and when they make the actual tournament, I’ll dignify this with some commentary. Even UEFA.com didn’t feel like putting a match recap up. But the match events which had record of the subs and cards looked quite enthralling. If you really want news on this, click here.

**The Most Excellent Non-Sexual Yell My Wife Has Ever Graced Our Apartment With – I was busy playing FIFA World Cup Germany ‘06 last night (I have the ‘07 but I like the idea of the licensing and the cute magazine with the lion on it when I advance). I’m using, who else but the Portugas and my wife is sitting next to me on the couch on the phone with her ~~annoying~~ ~~loud~~ ~~pushy~~ ~~nosy~~ fabulous older sister. At any rate, I put in a through ball to Quaresma only to have the shot go sailing over the bar. The fact that Quaresma sucks (that’s right, I’m not playing the game, HE IS) is really not the focal point of this story. The focal point of this story is the loud “Awwww” and slap of her thigh that my wife made AS I missed the shot. This woman who I love so dearly and have almost since the moment I met her is so frigging cool that she can One: sit there while I play an out-of-date video game which inherently makes me some level of “dork” and Two: she can actually get almost as into the game as I can. I will be summarily locking her in a closet so no other men may lay eyes upon her and will feed her only my leftover picanha, morcila, and an occasional treat of two spoonfuls of serradura or some pastéis de nata (Try bringing a box of these to a party, especially one with a lot of, for lack of a better term, “white bread” people there. They’ll climax right before your eyes after only one bite).

And now, without further delay, the unveiling of… SUPER MARIO BROTHERS THREE! Sorry, sorry… I watched The Wizard last night and that was entirely necessary. Ahem… The unveiling of… FIXTURE FACTS 2.0!!! (How often do you get to use ellipsis dots (…) four times in one paragraph? This has to be some sort of record I’ve just broken)

Jornada 1 (Each club’s average home attendance from last year in parenthesis) All times Eastern

Friday, August 17 @ 3:30PM — Sporting (33,285) v. Académica (8,751)

Saturday, August 18 @ 11:00 AM — Marítimo (6,167) v. Paços de Ferreira (3,267)
Saturday, August 18 @ 11:00 AM — Nacional (1,920) v E.d.Amadora (6,154)
Saturday, August 18 @ 2:15 PM — Braga (12,229) v. Porto (38,781) *Match of the Week*
Saturday, August 18 @ 4:00 PM — Leixões (N/A, promotion) v. Benfica (39,010)

Sunday, August 19 @ 1:15 PM — V.Guimarães (N/A, promotion) v. V.Setúbal (7,427) *Vitória derby*
Sunday, August 19 @ 3:30 PM — U.d.Leiria(8,763) v. Boavista (4,703)

Monday, August 20 @ 2:15 PM — Naval (5,963) v. Belenenses (4,007)

When the third round draw for the Carlsberg Cup is set, then you’ll get your results from the second round and third round analysis right here. Until then, you’ll take whatever drivel I throw at you and like it! Happy hour’s only 2 1/2 hours away, so I’ll go dream about that now.

On a slightly serious note, the kind compliments I’ve been receiving lately have made my week in their own little way. I genuinely appreciate the encouragement and hope to continue to pump out stuff you guys enjoy reading. I look forward to future discussions with all seven of you. Have a kick ass weekend, I’ll see you Monday.