Our Lady of Fatima Answers Her Fans’ Prayers

By: Greg | September 27th, 2007

Okay, it’s not exactly when the US Hockey team defeated the USSR in 1980’s Olympics, but it’s an upset nonetheless. Liga da Honra (t-minus two months till DMX releases album entitled “Da Honra”) side Fatima beat Porto on penalties. I’ll be honest, I didn’t watch any of these games. I didn’t actually even check to see if I COULD watch any of these games. Let me explain…

I’m a New York Yankee fan. I have the habit of treating the regular season in baseball as a diversion of sorts until the post season begins simply because the Yankees have played October baseball every season since 1995 and I’ve gotten used to them being there. I’ve taken this attitude towards baseball’s regular season and imposed it on the early rounds of every single cup competition not called “Champions League.” It’s more out of pragmatism than anything else. I would love to watch these matches and try to find the next “big thing.” However, I figure that if the big clubs are going to almost ignore it as such where teams like Porto and Manchester United crash out before anything even gets serious, I might as well give it the same attention that Sir Alex and Jesualdo give the competitions: none.

The post match press conferences are hilarious bullshit, too. The bosses are feigning some sort of remorse, saying that they’re upset they lost and doing it with the smuggest, most half-hearted expressions on their faces. They look about as upset as I was when my last girlfriend broke up with me. The truth of the matter is, I was essentially ignoring her and treating her with complete indifference in order to get her to leave me so I wouldn’t have to be saddled with any type of “break up guilt.” That’s right, I’m completely shallow and on my way to the 96th circle of the inferno. Below, you’ll find the rest of the results from yesterday’s Hops and Barley Cup 3rd round. Try to read them without formulating some sick reprimand to put in the comments for my terrible behavior in past relationships. I’ve changed, and I’m sure that my wife would tell you, I’m Husband of the Year. The Liga da Honra “Yo yo yo” teams are still in italics. Therefore, feel free to laugh at any of the Piss Your Kids’ College Education Away With Online Gambling.com League teams who lost to their “lesser” opponents. Kisses ALL AROUND!!

V.Setúbal 2 - 1 Braga
Penafiel 1 - 0 Nacional
Leixões 0 - 2 U.d.Leiria
Beira-Mar 0 - 0 (4-3) Paços de Ferreira
Portimonense 1 - 1 (4-3) Belenenses
Our Lady of Fatima 0 - 0 (4-2) Porto
V.Guimarães 0 - 0 (6-7) Sporting
E.d.Amadora 1 - 1 (4-5) Benfica