Carlsberg Cup Final Preview

By: Greg | March 21st, 2008

charleberg As the final of the Carlsberg Cup is upon us, the big question on everyone’s mind here is… Where have all the fans gone?

Attendance in the Portuguese League as a whole is actually relatively poor. After the big three, there is a precipitous (66%) drop off in average league game attendance. If you remove the big three from the equation, you’re looking at a paltry average attendance of around 6,000 spectators, flare tossers, and giant flag wavers at each match. The average per match attendance for the Carlsberg Cup tournament thus far (38 total matches) is 2,796. I had more people at my high school graduation and we only had a class of 140 kids. To give you a point of reference, the Carlsberg Cup in Portugal is essentially equivalent to the Carling Cup in England. Therefore, domestically I’d say trophies are probably as follows: BWINLiga Championship (also known as Porto’s Trophy), Taça de Portugal, being a contestant on O Preço Certo (the Portuga version of the Price is Right, hosted by a guy who is the embodiment of the saying “10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag”), the Algarve Cup (women’s football), the Portuguese Rink Hockey SuperCup (really, no kidding!), and finally the Carlsberg Cup.

Now that we’re together at the fifth circle of Hell, why even bother watching this clown show? I’ll give you five good reasons why:

1. Young Portuguese Internationals - Miguel Veloso, João Moutinho, and Rui Patricio are all on Big Phil’s list of convoked ones and will be taking the field in Sporting’s starting XI. For Vitoria Setubal, you get to see U-21 captain and my current man crush (at 20, he’s younger than me, but I figure since the concept of ‘man crush’ is creepy to begin with, we need not go with calling him my ‘boy crush’) Bruno Gama. If these names are unfamiliar to you or you haven’t gotten to see a number of these players get any considerable burn, here’s your chance.

2. The trophy looks vaguely like something my wife might dream about for recreational purposes.

3. Why the hell else did you pay extra for the Portuguese channel on your DISH Network? It’ll be on RTPi Live at 4:30 PM Eastern.

4. At 4:30 on a Saturday, aren’t you just waiting for the night to come so you can go out anyway?

5. You’re spending Sunday at a Portuguese person’s house and you don’t actually speak the language… and you want to get out alive. You will get random looks that make you think the older, non-English speaking people at the table are plotting how they’re planning on mounting you where the leitao just came from. Watch the Carlsberg Cup final and memorize a few of the Sporting players’ names. When you walk in, navigate past the pictures of old women carrying grapes on their heads, kitschy fado instruments hanging on the walls, and the six women all wearing aprons in the kitchen handling some form of sea creature. After slinking your way through this maze, you’re going to run into some sort of souvenir telling you that the people in the house support Benfica, Porto, or Sporting. If you don’t see it immediately, there’s a club magnet on the refrigerator, a large mug or shot glass in the cupboard with the logo on it, or check the driveway for a car that has Calvin taking a leak on one or two of the hated teams’ logos. Think back to the names you’ve remembered. If they support Sporting, you can interject random names you’ve learned from the match and smile. If they don’t, you can obviously do the opposite. If you don’t feel like doing all of that work, just bring a framed picture of Jose Mourinho and some wine. That always works too.

All joking aside, the match should actually be somewhat interesting (especially given reason #1 listed above). Vitória Setúbal are by no means a bad side. Sporting have obviously been underachieving all season and they’re going to want to have some form of silverware (even if it DOES look like a glorified sex toy) to put in the trophy case when it’s all said and done.

Both teams have something to prove. Vitória Setúbal want to prove they belong among the Portuguese elite and Sporting want to prove that they don’t suck as bad as their domestic record currently shows. I think Sporting’s experience will prove too much for Vitória Setúbal here and I see them winning a hard fought 1-0 game.

Have a great Easter weekend if you celebrate the holiday. If not, wait till Monday for the lovely, discount chocolate and half-priced marshmallow Peeps. Kisses ALL AROUND!!