Are You Not Entertained?!?! ANTI SPAM UPDATE 2

By: Greg | September 7th, 2007

glad -=Spammer Comment Update 2: As of 2:04 PM Eastern, I’m finding that some of your ’spam karmas’ are rated very low for some strange reason. For now, just leave the comment even if it thinks it’s spam and I’ll sweep the spam heap so we can get your comments up and help my ego out. Thanks for your patience on this and I hope it hasn’t driven any of you away from the place. PPPPPPPEACE.=-

I give you people gems. I make extremely vague and nuanced references to bands like Oingo Boingo and cartoons like Rocko’s Modern Life. I actually scour up shit to write about during the international break. YET! No comments. No discussion. Which in the end means NO LOVE. I NEED TO FEEL NEEDED. I WANT TO FEEL WANTED. You, my nine faithful readers, are doing neither of these things for me. I’d be concerned that you guys ended up in some nine car pileup which is preventing you from commenting and bantering around with me, but I don’t really know any of you, so if you were in a car accident I’d probably lament the fact that my readership numbers would go down for the month more so than any physical injury you may have incurred. Besides, how can I be expected to care for your well-being when your recent inactivity shows that you clearly have no CONCERN FOR MINE!?!?

I have a wife and seven kids. Two dogs. Three parakeets. And a six hundred pound live-in mother-in-law to feed. While you’re feeding your skinny little asses, wasting time at your cushy job juggling lunchtime rollerblading and reading my bullshit, I can’t even feed my family or myself to the point that we’re starting to look like appetizers for my morbidly obese mother-in-law! And I can’t stand when she licks her lips and looks at me like I’m some sort of cocktail wiener. But fear not, those of you who have survived. I will continue to shout into the darkness, perhaps in a continuing daily act of futility, to ensure that the few people that DO stop by will NOT be deprived of their Portuguese football. Although, I may get to the point where I’m asking myself: “If a blogger writes a Portuguese football blog and no one’s around to read it, does it actually exist?”

If you don’t know by now, the National Team have a big game at home in the Luz against Luis Polonia tomorrow. Now the excuses about pitch quality, long flight, and firm mattress beds have to all stop. They’re playing at home in the Luz against the first place team. If they lose or draw I don’t want to hear “Well, Poland’s a good team, they’re top of the group, so it was always going to be a tough match even if it was at home and they got to sleep on their Stearns and Fosterão plush mattresses the night before the game, ensuring a good night’s sleep.” Weak teams and underdogs make excuses for themselves. This team is out of excuses. Short of the team bus being eaten by a frigging blue whale, they had better win this game. Scolari will have the following Portugas and Brazucas to choose from:

Keep-Nets: Ricardo, Quim

Portuguese Department of Defense (I slid this corny one in here to see if anyone will call me on how lame it is. If someone does, that means someone’s reading this! Yay!): Bruno Alves, Fernando Meira, Jorge Andrade, Bosingwa, Pepe, Miguel, Caneira, Paulo Ferreira

进攻和防守之间的队员: Decolletage, Small, João Moutinho , Manwich, Raúl Meireles, Tiago, Cristiano Sheen (If THIS guy has to pay for sex, I feel bad for all single men out there)

нападающий: Hélder Postiga, Hugo Almeida, Nani, Nuno Gomes, Ricardo Quaresma, Simão

If LandPhil Scolari can’t line this group of Chops up and produce a win at home, then the end of the Euro and his announced exit after the tournament can’t come any sooner. I have faith that they’ll pull out 6 points from their next two games against Poland and Serbia and get back on track to qualifying. That’s a total lie, I won’t be comfortable until they take maximum points through to the end of qualifying. Then I’ll rest assured that we’ll see Big Phil’s boys in Austria and Switzerland, tearing it up. Have a great weekend, if there’s anyone out there. And if there isn’t, it’s been fun pissing into the wind!