Portuguese Soccer Pitches Infested with Poison Ivy and Killer Bees With Herpes

By: Greg | July 11th, 2007

bee Well, why the hell else would every player be leaving? This time it’s (insert hyperbolic superlative here) goalkeeper Ricardo, who has passed his physical and is leaving Sporting for Real Betis. I understand Nani and Anderson moving to Manchester United. I even understand Pepe going to Real Madrid. But what in the HELL is Ricardo thinking moving from a team who qualified for the Champions League to a team that was basically one POINT away from being RELEGATED last year? Ricardo is absolutely adored by the Sporting faithful and Portuguese football fans in general. So why leave?

I haven’t read any disclosures of the amount Ricardo stands to make at Betis, but I know Sporting got a paltry 3 million Euros in exchange for the keeper’s services. The only explanation here can be a promise of an embarassment of riches from the Spanish club. Or… maybe my idea in the headline is true about itchy pitches and STD-infested yellow jackets. Or… maybe Real Betis have assassins placed outside the homes of all of Ricardo’s family ready to pull the trigger unless he signs. Other than these three scenarios, I just don’t get it.

I do feel partially responsible here, since earlier I bemoaned the fact that keepers like Ricardo get no play in the transfer market. I also said it was a good idea that Portuguese teams sell off pieces of high priced young talent in order to replace that one player with two who may be a notch or two below but will allow the team to improve as a whole. The problem here is: Ricardo’s now transfered to a bottom feeder and Sporting are using their new found riches to buy up relatively unproven Eastern European players. Don’t forget the fact that Porto are content to simply sit on their ever-growing pile of pesos. If too many big name players leave, superstars from other countries will be reticent to come, regardless of the amount of money that could be thrown at them. So, close down the airports, shut the waterways, and stop selling train tickets to keep at least enough players in the league to have a match of 11 on 11 next year!