However, now that I have my own Portuguese team blog with Sporting I guess I’ll have to transfer the bias over there and do my best to be somewhat objective. I can’t promise that I’ll be entirely unbiased, but neither can the anchors on FoxNews.

This isn’t going to be a weekly bit, as I’ll have the table at the bottom of the recaps going forward. I just figured I’d give you a quick peek at the clubs and what points they’ve gotten so far:

1 – Nacional – 6
2 – Sporting – 6
3 – V.Setúbal – 4
4 – V.Guimarães – 4
5 – Porto – 4
6 – E. Amadora – 3
7 – Braga – 3
8 – Naval – 3
9 – Leixões – 3
10 – Académica – 3
11 – Benfica – 2
12 – P. Ferreira – 1
13 – Belenenses – 1
14 – Rio Ave – 1
15 – Marítimo – 0
16 – Trofense – 0

I obviously don’t think Porto and Benfica will end up where they are presently. The two newly promoted teams are somewhat predictably in the bottom three and top o’ the table Nacional have gotten their six points on two wins over a couple of relatively cocka teams (Leixões and Naval). V.Setúbal have a bunch of promising young stars, led by Portuguese U(fill in the age) attacker Bruno Gama. They may surprise a few people and finish somewhere near the top three this year. Benfica are still a work in progress and could suffer a few more setbacks going forward. A year out of Europe completely isn’t entirely out of the question but I think Quique can right that ship eventually to salvage some sort of decent season.

The table from two matches into a season rarely looks like the table on the final day of the season. On the other hand, the games count just as much at the beginning as they do at the end, so a quick start never hurt anyone.

** Vitória de Guimarães’ new biggest fan Jose Mourinho watched the Portuguese side tie FC Basel 1492 When Columbus Sailed the Ocean Blue 0 – 0 at home on Wednesday in the first leg of the third round Champions League qualifiers.

** In UEFA Cup qualifier (”we’re talking WAY the hell away from anything substantial” qualifier) action, Braga managed a 1 – 0 win at home over HŠK Zrinjski Mostar on a 68th minute goal from Roland Linzzzzzzzzz

** Waking up now we have the opening match (no points at stake) of the 2008/2009 Portuguese Season with Sporting facing off against Porto in the Supertaça Cândido de Oliveira on Saturday. A slightly Sporting-slanted preview of the match by an extremely witty and handsome blogger can be found here.

** Finally, Benfica and Inter played in the inaugural Eusebio Cup match today in Lisbon. As I hurry to finish this, the match ended in a 0 – 0 draw and Nuno Gomes just converted a shootout penalty to tie it at 3 – 3(I know, sounds weird, but sound it out to yourself: “Nu-no Gomes sc-or-ed”.

Enjoy the weekend and do your best to catch the Sporting v Porto match. You’ll love it. I guarantee it. As a matter of fact, if you DON’T love it, e-mail one of the site bosses and they’ve told me they’ll send you over an e-mail from some Nigerian fellow that will give you a part of his inheritance. I just sent him my social security, bank account, and credit card numbers and I can’t wait to get me a piece of that sweet money pie!

Champions League Third Round Qualifier First Leg, Second Set, Fifth Iteration, Level Nine Gannon’s Dungeon (That’s right: Zelda shout out, bitches): Guimarães 0 – 0 FC Parsley – Guimarães had two legitimate shouts for penalty kicks and I can’t believe at least one wasn’t given. Both teams played standard issue cagey boring first leg football. Guimarães looked the better side and had more attacking impetus. The fact that they didn’t concede an away goal makes me feel that they’ll be okay when they visit the Spice Rack in two weeks time.

UEFA Cup Second Qualifying Round: Braga v. HŠK Zrinjski Mostar Today, 19:45 Local — As a result of their Intertoto Cup win, Braga earned the right to make a run at qualifying for an ass whipping by AC Milan. The first leg will be contested today at home against last year’s fourth place team from the Premier League of Bosnia and Herzegovina, HŠK Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

It’s hard to care about the Consolation Cup as it is. You want me to legitimately preview a match that’s light years away from the final? Pssshhh.

Therefore, while there is a great amount of money and prestige that comes to teams that simply qualify, for me these competitions don’t take on any serious meaning until the best of the best are involved. In the same vein, far be it from me to deny Portuguese teams their recognition, so it is my blog-given obligation to point out that last year’s surprise third place finishers Vitória Guimarães will be facing off against either IFK Göteborg of Sweden or FC Basel 1893 of Switzerland in the third qualifying round for the Champions League. The winner of the home and away playoff will then be thrown to the wolves and pray for a third place group finish in the Champions League so they lose at some stage to AC Milan in this year’s UEFA Cup.

Braga were also involved in UEFA draw proceedings today. Their Intertoto Cup win slid them into the second qualifying round draw for the runner up UEFA Cup. They found out that they have to deal with NK Zrinjski, a side that finished fourth in this past season’s top flight of Bosnia-Herzegovinian football. I’ve cleared my schedule for August 14th and 28th for these can’t miss ties. Maybe you’ll join me in watching these matches and double the television audience for the encounters by becoming the second non-lobotomized person watching via the tube.

Somebody wake me when these teams are having their asses handed to them by either Scolari and Co or Ronaldinho. Until then, enjoy your weekend. I get to grill for my six-year-old nephew’s pool party tomorrow, so even if you’re in prison on “kitchen detail” tossing salad or catching a disease like malaria, I guarantee you’re having a better weekend than me. Enjoy it.

O Maestro then opened his summer overhaul by bringing Quique Flores, a boss with Champions League pedigree and most recently manager of Spanish Primera side Valencia. With Flores on board and ready to roll, Ol’ Number 10 hit the transfer market hard. With Maniche’s brother, Portuguese international Jorge Ribeiro already signed prior to him coming on board to strengthen the defense, he brought in largely unproven midfielder Hassan Yebda from French side Le Mans on a free.

Then, after losing on-loan Cristian Rodriguez to Porto, Rui hit up Spanish minnows Real Madrid and managed to wrangle winger Javier Balboa from them for four million Euros. While in Spain, he also secured the signature of Portuguese international attacking midfielder Carlos Martins from Recreativo Huelva. Still unsatisfied with his summer spending spree, Rui traveled down to South America and stole away 18-year old striker Jonathan Urretavizcaya from River Plate to inject some youth into the squad.

Today, his transfer tempest probably began to wind down as he secured the services of Argentinian international midfielder Pablo Aimar from Real Zaragoza in a swap which sees 6.5 million Euros and promising young Portuguese winger Fábio Coentrão headed in the other direction. Zaragoza have the option to sign Fábio Coentrão permanently after this season.

So, the money’s been spent. The attack has certainly been fortified. Beloved Rui Costa is at the helm. Quique Flores is going to be stalking the sidelines. Is this, “new” Benfica ready to restore the luster which was reserved for the “old” teams?

While the matches are obviously played on the pitch and not in the transfer market, I’d still say that the moves Benfica have made over the summer do a decent job of showing its massive supporter base that they won’t take fourth place and the UEFA Cup lying down. At least if this is all a big huge fuck up, the Portuguese media will probably initially be very reluctant to heap criticism on a national hero such as Rui Costa. Initially reluctant, that is.

This decision puts to rest a long, protracted, and frankly somewhat embarrassing dragging through the European mud of Portuguese Football. As if it isn’t shitty enough for Portuguese football across Europe, the poor performances put forth in international club competition recently (especially the past year) are going to lead to us losing key spots in European tournaments in the coming seasons.

While the Portuguese football tribunals punished Porto in the most absurd manner for their bribery scandal, it’s time to let sleeping dogs rot in the gutter and move on. Besides, the best way to watch your favorite players on your most favorite of Portuguese teams excel in Europe is to wait for them to be sold larger teams who have a virtual stranglehold on the Champions League. Haven’t you figured that out yet?

The governing body announced today that it has accepted documented appeals from both Portuguese clubs and has been asked by the “plaintiffs” for a swift decision. Since the third qualifying round draw for the Champions League takes place August 1st, the CAS has to determine in the coming days whether or not it can render a verdict by the end of July.

UEFA boss Michel Platini recently slammed his own organization’s decision to allow Porto into the tournament this year. Platini has cited the fact that he feels that allowing the cheaters in does not follow the spirit of the law, even if it manages to be within the letter of said law.

Platini’s outrage aside, I think the CAS will still side with Porto on the grounds that it broke the law before the law was a law in the bylaws. Porto are going to get away with it, what’s new?

Kisses ALL AROUND. Enjoy your weekend.

F.C. Porto – Continue to raid Argentina and decided to backdoor Benfica on Cristian Rodríguez for a seven million Euro transfer. Benfica’s been dragging Porto and Portuguese football through the proverbial mud in Europe by sending every lawyer possible to argue their Champions League case to no avail, so Porto must enjoy the fact that they got some sort of small revenge here (aside from the fact that Benfica’s attempts were futile).

Ricky “Play Me Phil, I’m Better Than Simão” Quaresma is being feverishly linked with a move away from the Dragão. The most commonly mentioned suitors are Inter (who deny this connection over and over again) but Juventus, Chelsea, and Liverpool are apparently still in the running for the Cigano’s services.

Paulo Assunção used the Webster Law (long story short: player old enough and contracted long enough can buy out remaining part of agreement to become free) to scoot out early and is still looking for suitors with Atletico Madrid apparently leading the chase.

Sporting — Signed away Portuguese international striker Helder Postiga from Porto for 3.5 million Euros to add depth to an already decent strike force. Signed midfielder Izmailov to a long term deal as well as left back Grimi and Portuguese international defender (this past Euro excepted) Marco Caneira.

International midfielders Miguel Veloso and captain João Moutinho are constantly being linked with moves abroad. Veloso has admitted a liking for Milan while Moutinho is allegedly getting the standard sack rubbing from almost every big club in Europe. At least one of them will be gone by the time the season actually starts if not both. Emerging Sporting Midfielder = European Orgy.

Benfica – Condemned to the UEFA Cup this year, Benfica are trying to make some serious moves in the transfer and PR departments.

They opened the transfer season by signing midfielder Rui Costa up as their Football Director and he brought in seasoned boss Quique Flores. Aside from losing out on Cristian Rodríguez, they’ve brought in a number of intriguing signings. International new guy Jorge Ribeiro has been brought in as a defensive reinforcement. Carlos Martins was also signed as a replacement for Cristian Rodríguez and, in my opinion, probably a better player for the future.

Benfica are also, as of this writing, apparently moments away from announcing the five million Euro purchase of Javier Balboa, a winger from Real Madrid. Given the aggressive improvements and presence of Rui Costa, I’m happy with the fact that Benfica have not taken their UEFA Cup assignment laying down and are looking to restore the luster of years past.

We’ll hit on some of the smaller clubs and what to expect from the two new guys in town in the coming days. Until then… You better work.

From what I can tell based on a number of sources coming across the newswire, Porto essentially screwed themselves by not appealing the verdict and admitting guilt. Since UEFA has provisions in their bylaws that prevent participation in the Champions League by clubs found to be subversive as Porto were, the decision was made to exclude the Dragons and thus marks the first REAL punishment handed down to the team as a whole. The six point deduction which the league took from their massive total at the end of this past season as “punishment” was nothing short of a huge fucking joke.

Porto have three days to appeal and will more than likely lose that since, as mentioned before, they decided not to appeal the Golden Whistle punishment thus admitting guilt. While it may be a sad day for Porto fans, a few clubs will be thrilled at this news. Namely:

Vitoria Guimarães – Finished 3rd in the league, and qualified for the 3rd stage of Qualifiers for the Champions League. They now will go straight into the group stages for the first time ever.

Benfica – Finished a disappointing 4th in the league and qualified for the UEFA Cup. They will now start off in the same place as last year, the 3rd stage of Qualifiers for the Champions League.

Braga – Finished, by recent standards, a disappointing 7th in the league and qualified for the Intertoto Cup. I’m sure they won’t be throwing out an invite to the UEFA Cup.

Belenenses - Finished 8th (also somewhat disappointing given recent standards) after a six point deduction due to an illegal transfer scandal. They now qualify for the Intertoto Cup.

We can argue the merits of a club like Benfica making the Champions League not necessarily based on their on field results but on the corruption of others until we’re blue in the face. Still, the fact remains, Porto’s indiscretion has led to the benefit of many a Portuguese team when it comes to European competition for the coming year.

However, since Porto’s point “penalty” didn’t land them out of the league’s top spot, they still held the position in the table required for qualification in the Champions League’s group stages. Second place Sporting gained the other automatic bid and surprise club Vitória Guimarães took third and will have to qualify for the group stages with Benfica left with a UEFA Cup spot in fourth. Probably already upset by the virtual tickling the court handed down on Porto as punishment, Benfica and V.Guimarães are pressing UEFA and the Portuguese Football Federation hard to have Porto’s Champions League berth stripped from them. Porto players and staff have shot back essentially saying “Fuck off, Benfica, you played shit football all season and didn’t earn a spot. We pwned the whole league, the point “penalty”(haha) is in effect, and we still managed to maintain our position and thus our rightful place in the Champions League.”

Now while I will tend to agree that Benfica do not deserve a spot based on the merit of their play this year, I think Porto don’t deserve a spot there either due to their lack of ethical operation. While the bribing and match fixing took place a whole four to five years ago, the club itself still has to pay for the illegal activity. Six points and 150,000 Euros is not payment. It’s a weekend in the Algarve for suspended Porto President Pinto da Costa.

Ultimately, the choice of Porto’s inclusion or absence in next year’s Champions League tournament is down to UEFA. They have already come forward and stated that they are taking all evidence into advisement and will make a decision no earlier than June 2nd. When that date rolls around, I think they’ll decided not to include Porto. Here’s why:

1. It’s the right thing to do, period.

2. The league dropped the ball on punishing Porto themselves and UEFA will not want to look as weak as the league did when they handed down the joke verdict.

3. Excluding Porto is in UEFA’s bylaws. Section 1.04, subsection (d) states: “it [a given club] must not be or have been involved in any activity aimed at arranging or
influencing the outcome of a match at national or international level;” Gee, I wonder who that applies to.

Points 1 and 2 are more emotional and ethical where point 3 is simple “letter of the law.” While some might say it’s not fair to punish the players who weren’t even around then and earned this berth, to you I say “Don’t worry, they won’t be punished.” If anyone plays halfway decent football in Portugal, your sale to a bigger club is a given over the summer. Hell, it could even shake out that, through sale abroad, the majority of the starting XI from this year’s wonder team will actually be on Champions League squads ANYWAYS next year.