Jornada 26 Preview: Fight For Porto’s Scraps

By: Greg | April 11th, 2008

Now that King Porto have been crowned champions for the third successive season, all that is left for the other clubs is “to be or not to be.” To be in Europe or not to be. To be relegated or not to be… Okay enough of the overextended Hamlet soliloquy references, what’s still at stake?

Porto have won, to quote Jake Taylor of fictional Cleveland Indians fame, “the whole fuckin’ thing.” Therefore, they also get to show their faces in the Champions League again next year, probably with some new faces on the pitch for the rest of Europe to look on lovingly. Leiria laid a (here comes some more Major League) “nice big shitburger” so they get to wallow a division lower next year in the Liga Vitalis. With these two items essentially set in stone, (unless Leiria shred off five consecutive wins and there are other monumental collapses which are not going to happen) the following spots are still left to play for:

One Champions League spot, one Champions League qualifiers spot, two UEFA Cup spots, and a relegation spot. I’m not even mentioning the Intertoto Cup since I feel that mentioning the UEFA Cup is sufficient when dealing with off-brand competitions.

Now, there are a few interesting developments here with external forces acting on the league table. Firstly, Vitoria Setubal won the Carlsberg Cup thus earning them an automatic bid into the UEFA Cup. Sporting currently occupy the other UEFA Cup spot, therefore Belenenses now would qualify as well for the tournament that Viper would never allow, as there are no points for second best.

Secondly, at the bottom of the table, Paulo Ferreira currently occupies the remaining relegation spot all by himself on 20 points. However, Leixões, Academica, Naval, and E.d.Amadora are all close by, on 22, 24, 26, and 28 points respectively with five to play. On the other mao, none of these sides may have anything to worry about, as there’s word that Boavista may be relegated as punishment for the Golden Whistle scandal, which would probably save these bottom feeders’ collective asses for one more year. That is, of course, if Boavista don’t go on strike before that particular hullabaloo takes place.

Okay, enough excitement building. If you’re into Portuguese football and you actually come here, then I’m sure you’re excited enough without me having to paint a picture of the league for you. Or not. Maybe this is the only football news site at work that isn’t blocked. Or maybe you meant to click on “Poland” or “Russia” when you selected “Europe” on our navbar. Either way. You’re here now and I’m not going to let you leave without FixtureFacts and a Jornada preview!

-=Jornada 26=- All times Portuguese, like my wife’s hairy upper lip. Today’s edition of FixtureFacts includes each team’s local telephone number in Portugal. So, if you like, call a particular team up and tell them you think they suck. Or maybe you can tell them you think they’re good. Either way, your voice should not be ignored.

Friday, April 11th @ 20:30 — Benfica (21 721 95 58) v. Académica (239 793 890)

Saturday, April 12th @ 17:00 — E.d.Amadora (210990929) v. Belenenses (21 301 04 61)
Saturday, April 12th @ 19:00 — V. Guimarães (253432570) v. Boavista (226 071 004)
Saturday, April 12th @ 21:15 — V. Setúbal (265 544 270/8) v. Porto (225070500)

Sunday, April 13th @ 16:00 — Nacional (291 227 324/69) v. Paços de Ferreira (255 965 230)
Sunday, April 13th @ 16:00 — Naval (233422809) v. Marítimo (291 708 300)
Sunday, April 13th @ 19:15 — Sporting (217 516 000) v. Leixões (22 939 66 20)

Monday, April 14th @ 19:45 — Braga (253 206 860) v. Leiria (244 831 779)

I’ve made up a fake golf outing with clients today so the boss will let me leave work at 10:00 AM. I will be drunk with my cousin playing FIFA 08 by lunch time, so why don’t you join me in today’s festivities? Put on your Guy Fawkes mask, be a part of the Friday revolution, and find some bullshit excuse for leaving work… That is, unless I expect to see you on stage at 4:30 this afternoon, stealing my dollar bills. That’s right, Destiny, Portia, and Mystique, I’m talking to you. Have a stripper-ific weekend. Keep your hands off the “dancers,” but always give KISSES ALL AROUND!!